Tuesday, October 21, 2008

For Those Of You Even More Paranoid Than Me . . .

SURVIVALBLOG!!!

(All sorts of advice; Batteries not included.)

I like the Advice on Concealing Storage Food in particular:

My situation: I live 10 miles from a city of 80,000 in a residential neighborhood. I live at the foot of a small mountain—the area behind my house is woods. I don’t own all of this wooded property, but I’ve never seen the owner. I have significant stores of canned goods, dried oats and beans, flour, sugar, etc.
I am not a craftsperson, so cannot build a false wall, and my husband, who already thinks I’m a loon, would not help me do so. So—where to hide these provisions? The solution needs to be simple enough for a non-carpenter to implement.


This shit is priceless.

15 comments:

John in IL said...

My survival plan involves moving to your house/barn/farm. Hope you're ok with that.

Kevin said...

Excuse me, but I have dibs on the barn...

Jamie said...

lmao there's room for you both. And since you're both single . . .

Maybe you should find someplace else, come to think of it. Wouldn't want you scaring the horses. ;)

North Dallas Thirty said...

First, I thought John was planning on invading East Whitetrashistan and deposing Her Serene Highness. :)

Second, disasters make horrible matchmakers. Keep that in mind.

Jamie said...

Second, disasters make horrible matchmakers. Keep that in mind.

Not according to Jericho!!!

lmao

John said...

You should talk, NDT.

In the event of a Jericho style breakup of 'Murika, we all know city officials in San Francisco already have a secret stash of PRC flags and "March of the Volunteer" CDs ready to go. Don't bother denying it.

Kevin said...

Actually San Francisco was obliterated in Jericho.

North Dallas Thirty said...

In the event of a Jericho style breakup of 'Murika, we all know city officials in San Francisco already have a secret stash of PRC flags and "March of the Volunteer" CDs ready to go. Don't bother denying it.

I don't. That's why we have about three months's worth of food and water in the basement, a vegetable garden, and a couple "friends" that I brought with me from Texas.

(Well, actually it's for the earthquake that's going to destroy everything, but it just sounds better to describe it the other way. :) )

And actually, the funny part is that, if they tried to do that, the center of resistance to them would probably be Chinatown and the Outer Lands. Most of the people there escaped from Communist China, and they're not keen to go back; if anything, they're the most conservative voting bloc in the city.

Anonymous said...

Has anyone seen the Walton's (Wal-Mart) enormous underground bunker they had made after 9/11? Wonder how many cans of caviar they have in there?

Kevin said...

Oooo! How do you wrangle an invite to the Walmart bunker? That's the place to be!

John said...

All I know is that in the event of a Jericho-style disaster, I claims dibs on Skeet. Everything is up for negotiation...

Jamie said...

HEY! HANDS OFF MY DAYPASS, BITCH!! lol

North Dallas Thirty said...

OK....and while you two are off fighting over that, I'll be making use of Messrs. Gaston and Mitchell, thank you very much. :)

Jamie said...

TWO?

Not very gracious of you, NDT. *chuckle*

God, I just don't feel like blogging lately. Been writing too much poetry.

Besides which, blogging usually devolved into this: commenters fighting over men we can't have like junkies fighting over the last plastic spoon.

Maybe I'll just post a poem again. They never get comments, but at least they're original.

John said...

Hey! It's not that I can't have Skeet, I just choose not to see him. Kinda like how I choose to hang out at the Gas N' Sip on Friday nights...