This article in todays NYTimes is nothing new, but it is chilling. Even with medical proxies, living will, etc, gay couples in states without protections face potential disaster, and can't visit their partners or be with them at the end. And that's what the lawsuits end up being about.
However, and I don't think this question is asked enough, if the hospital doesn't care enough about the patients to allow their loved ones in the room with them at the end, why would we expect that those same patients are receiving the proper care? The best care? If the doctors are shunning the lesbian partner, why do we automatically assume that the patient is getting any better treatment?